The Gift that Keeps on Giving
by Alabaster Ink
Summary: Unwanted gifts are good for something, even if only the giving party thinks so. Written for the NFFR Secret Santa.


Hello! So this was written for the NFFR Secret Santa. It was done for animus_wyrmis who wanted some sister bonding. I know I'm putting it out late, but just think of it as if we can all still celebrate some Christmas.

Disclaimer: I own the plot only.

Enjoy!

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**The Gift that Keeps on Giving**

**One-shot**

In the fifth year of the reign of High King Peter and his Royal Siblings, Queen Lucy received a very unwanted gift from a very unwanted suitor. The present came at breakfast wrapped in red silk with a gold ribbon and carried by two doves. Despite the rather sweet sentiment, the young queen was not at all pleased. She did not appreciate having a gift deposited in her eggs and she most certainly did not like that it was delivered in the presence of her subjects. Her only consolation was that her brothers were away trying to resolve a quarrel in the Shuddering Woods and were therefore not present to witness the humiliating affair. The same could not be said for her sister.

"Oh Lucy, honestly, it's not that bad." For the past six hours, Queen Susan the Gentle had been trying to calm her rather irate sister out of her current state. "He was just trying to impress you with his knowledge of our culture."

"Susan," the thirteen-year-old girl said, "he sent me a brick."

The older queen rolled her eyes at the statement and added more sugar to her tea. "He did not send you a brick, Sister. I think he was being rather thoughtful."

"Thoughtful?" The fair-haired girl leaned back against the divan. "He sent me the one gift _no one_ ever wants to receive! What in the world am I supposed to do with it?"

"It's a traditional Christmas gift, Lucy. He probably went through a lot of work to discover it. You know they don't celebrate Christmas in Terebinthia."

"Yes, but of all the gifts, why this one?" The young girl let a whine enter her voice and her older sister raised an eyebrow.

Placing her tea on the table, Susan crossed her arms and gave her sister a disapproving look. "You should be happy he sent you anything at all, little though you seem to deserve it right now!"

"That's not fair!" Lucy narrowed her eyes. "I didn't ask for a gift and certainly not one from a twenty-year-old prince."

"Sister," Susan sighed, "You will find very quickly that rarely are the presents asked for and even rarer by wanted suitors. The only thing you can do is nod and accept the gift with a gracious smile and a politely worded refusal."

"That's all well and good, but didn't you once tell me that rarely does that tactic work?"

Susan, knowing she was trapped, just sighed and nodded. "Yes, but unfortunately it's all you can do without causing an international incident. Eventually, he'll catch on and the presents will begin to dwindle before you never hear from him again."

"Alright, but you know that doesn't tell me what to do with _this_." The Valiant Queen gestured towards the object between the two.

"Well…" the older girl drew out, trying to think of something. "Have you tried giving it to the Dogs?"

Lucy sighed and nodded. "Yes, but they didn't want it. They kept saying that it smelled like a dead rat and that it was impossible to chew."

"What about the Centaurs?" Susan tried again. "They have two stomachs."

The youngest sighed again and put her chin in her palm. "Yes, but unfortunately they don't have diamond teeth in which to bite it with."

"The Cats?"

"Tried it."

"The Satyrs?"

"Twice."

"The Dwarves."

"They tried to break it with their hammers."

"Fauns?"

"I don't want to kill anyone, Su!"

"Well goodness, Lucy, I'm fresh out of ideas!" Susan threw up her hands in dismay. "At this rate we might as well just throw it in the fire and use it as a log."

"I tried that at noon." She put her head in her hands. "Not even a burn."

Susan sighed again and glanced at the gift. "Well, why don't we try eating it? It might be good. The letter said he even made it himself."

Lucy slowly raised her head to stare at her sister as if she had gone insane. Everyone knew that the Prince of Terebinthia was a horrible cook. Rumour had it that he almost poisoned himself when trying to make his own dinner. What in Narnia would make Susan think that eating the thing would be a good idea?

After a moment's staring contest, the older girl deflated. "Well we can't just throw it out. It would be far too rude."

"Probably wouldn't even decompose," Lucy said with a slight laugh. "Plus I don't think the Dryads would be overly happy with us if we were to do so."

"No, I suspect not."

Both girls looked down at their hands with a sigh. The gift really had been thoughtful; it was just that it hadn't been _thoughtfully_ planned out.

Suddenly, Lucy was struck with an idea. "I've got it!" Susan looked at the girl, excited. "We could wrap it up again and give it to Peter or Edmund. They surely wouldn't refuse it!"

Susan slouched (a rare posture for her) and raised an eyebrow. "Lucy, it's not called the 'gift that keeps on giving' for no reason. We want to get rid of it for good to make sure that it never makes its way back to Terebinthia. Even Peter and Edmund wouldn't accept _this_ gift without doing the same thing. It would be a never ending cycle!"

"Do you have a better idea?" Lucy crossed her arms. She thought that it was actually a pretty good plan, but she was willing to bend on it if Susan could come up with something better.

The young queen waited for a few moments as her older sister began to think. She didn't have to wait long, however, and she grew excited when she saw that rare gleam of adventurous scheming enter her sister's eyes. Susan, for all her gentleness and ladylike ways, was not afraid to play dirty when the situation required it and Lucy took great delight in such rare moments.

Her sister had a plan, and Lucy would be willing to bet every diamond she owned that it would be brilliant.

"Lucy," the older girl smirked, "how long do you think we have before Peter and Edmund get home?"

* * *

"Well, what do you think?"

Four hours after the initial planning began, the four siblings could be found in the kitchens. Peter and Edmund had arrived not but an hour before and the girls had taken it upon themselves to see to it that their brothers received a proper meal before they retired to their rooms. It really was all the queens could do not to burst out into laughter upon seeing the looks on their brothers' faces, but they managed to hide it well. The kings, on the other hand, were just staring at the item on the table in front of them, looking for all the world like two frightened boys.

"It, uh, looks…lovely, Lucy…thank you." Peter managed to stutter out. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. It wasn't that he was scared or anything, it was just that while his sisters were almost everything the ideal woman could be, they couldn't bake to save their lives. Quickly, he stole a desperate look at his younger brother only to find that he was in the same predicament.

The youngest queen caught the look but pretended not too, and instead pasted on the brightest, most innocent smile she could muster. "Susan and I spent all day preparing this for the both of you! It took a few tries, but I think we finally got it right." Her older sister coughed into her hand, but Lucy paid her no mind. "Of course, the both of you will have to tell us what you think, but I think we managed perfectly!"

Edmund, already feeling his stomach begin to knot, asked, "And did Diddy help you with it by any chance?" A small pleading tone entered the question as both of the kings began to pray that said pastry chef had done most of the work.

Lucy, feeling rather mischievous, just continued to smile and shook her head. "Nope, Susan and I made him promise not to interfere. We wanted to surprise the both of you. We decided that it would be your early Christmas present." Both girls made sure to look as innocent and earnest as possible in order to make their brothers feel guilty enough to pick up a fork.

"Well, Lucy…that's, uh, great!" Edmund laughed nervously. "I'm sure we'll, uh…love it!" And with a sudden move, both boys picked up their forks and turned to the food on their plates. Without giving themselves time to back down, they stabbed the rock solid item with their forks and stuffed it in their mouths.

Time seemed to stop as the flavor and texture hit their tongues, but when it did both kings struggled not to blanch and spit the thing out. Seeing the joyful and earnest looks on their sister's faces, they fought back their reflexes and swallowed the offending food.

"Well…," Susan drew out, "what do you think?"

Now, let it be known that both Peter and Edmund did not like to lie. But the fact of the matter remained that these were their sisters – their very loving and firm sisters who seemed to have more power over them than even their swordmasters. There was also the fact that neither king liked, or knew how to deal with, very disappointed or sad girls. When faced with having either sad and/or angry sisters, or having to lie, they, like every other self-preserving male would make the correct choice.

"It's wonderful, girls, thank you," Peter said with a grimace. Edmund might have said something in kind but he was too busy trying not to be sick.

Susan, while trying to contain a mischievous smile, beamed and clapped her hands together with Lucy. "Oh how wonderful! We're ever so glad you like it! Well, eat up, there's plenty more where that came from." Both boys paled even further, but the queens pretended not to notice.

Lucy, gasping as if remembering something important, grabbed a hold of her sister's sleeve and said, "Oh, Susan, I almost forgot! We must go and thank Diddy for letting us use his kitchen all day. I simply don't think I could sleep tonight knowing I hadn't thanked him."

The older girl, also gasping, nodded and grabbed the younger girl's hand. "Oh you're right, Lu! We must go thank him before he goes to bed." Turning to her brothers (who, by the way, had yet to take another bite) she smiled and said, "Now you both just finish that up while we go and find Diddy. We'll be back in bit!" With that, she kissed the both of them on the cheek and began to leave the room.

Lucy just smiled and hugged them both. "I am ever so glad you like it!" Then, she turned and left the two very guilty kings to finish eating their food.

* * *

"I think that went well," Susan whispered from the other side of kitchen door. "I don't know about you, but that was much more entertaining than just wrapping it up again and giving it to them as a present."

"I agree," Lucy nodded. She had to keep placing her hands over her mouth in order to keep herself from laughing out loud.

Susan too was having a hard time preventing herself from breaking out into laughter, but she was better able to hide it than her younger sister. "If nothing else, we can consider this payback for last year. I don't know about you, but I did not appreciate having snowballs thrown at me while I was still in bed."

The younger queen could only nod at the statement, herself none too pleased about the prank their brothers had pulled on them last Christmas.

"Well, I suppose suitors a good for something." The older girl could only nod. It was true.

"Oh yes, if nothing else, they are good for a laugh." Both girls giggled before the fair-haired young queen turned a serious and happy gaze towards the older girl.

"You know, Su, I'm really glad you're my big sister." Susan's eyes softened and a small smile graced her face.

Putting her arms around the younger girl, she gave her a gentle hug and a kiss. "And I could never ask for a more wonderful little sister, Lucy."

For a moment, both girls just stood by the door content to be just sisters. Soon, though, they broke from their hug and Susan took the younger teen's hand. Tugging her along, she said, "Come on then, let's go get ready for bed before we come back to check on their progress."

Lucy, feeling much better than she had that morning, smiled and let herself be guided towards the stairs that led towards the upper floors. The last thing either girl heard before they exited the hallway were the twin groans of their brothers as the boys tried to eat the Prince's Fruitcake.

This time, the queens didn't try to hide their laughter.

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And that's that. I hope you liked it. Please Review but don't flame. Constructive criticism, however, is perfectly fine and welcome. Have a great night!

Bye!

~TimeMage0955


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